by Ann Morrow Lindbergh
“A good relationship has a pattern like dance. The partners do not need to hold on tightly, because they move confidently in the same pattern, intricate, but swift and free. There is no place here for the possessive clutch, the clinging arm, the heavy hand. Because they know they are partners, moving to the same rhythm, creating a pattern together, and being invisibly nourished by it. The joy of such a pattern is not only the joy of creation, or the joy of participation, it is also the joy of living in the moment. One cannot dance well unless one is completely in time with the music, not leaning back to the last step, or pressing forward to the next one, but poised directly on the present step as it comes. But how does one learn this technique of the dance? Why is it so difficult? What makes us hesitate and stumble? It is fear, I think, that makes one cling nostalgically to the last moment, or clutch greedily toward the next. Fear can only be exorcised by its opposite… love. When the heart is flooded with love there is no room in it for fear, for doubt, for hesitation.
And it is this lack of fear that makes for the dance. The partners only know that they love, and are moving to its music.”